


Big Brother

by LisaFQueen



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Incest, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-31 19:36:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18598009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaFQueen/pseuds/LisaFQueen
Summary: Jacob is having a fight with his 3-year younger sister. The sister is scared shitless to make things right again.





	1. Chapter 1

The sound faded in as I played mindlessly with my food.

  
"Lisa?"

Father asked. I looked up in shock and met Jacob's judging eyes. Immediately I diverted my eyes and wandered through the room with them. Evie was sitting next to me, and Father diagonally.

  
"Huh, what?"

I asked, not really caring. The only reason I blushed was because I felt Jacob's stare hot on my face.

  
"How is school?"

Father asked. I groaned internally and had to watch out I didn't roll my eyes out loud.  
I gave him the answer he wanted and then he proceeded to ask Jacob the same question. He reluctantly answered, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

  
In the corner of my eye I could see Jacob smirking and pull a face when he looked the other way.

  
My plate was still full. It was my least favorite dish, to make things worse.

  
"Don't play with your food, Lis! Eat it instead."

  
I felt my stomach form a knot while I kept my eyes on my plate.

  
"Not hungry."

I shrugged.  
Evie glanced sideways and gave me a soft look. She had passed the questioning phase by now, I hadn't been eating in five days. The only things I could keep down were coffee, tea and some bread and butter. Everything else just upset my stomach more than it already was.

  
I still hated myself for it, being so stupid. It was my own fault, but that didn't mean I didn't experience extreme stress from it.

  
When the voices in my head were drowned out by everyone standing up, I dared to look up. That was obviously a mistake. Jacob's stare was boring into me, grabbing his plate without looking down. His face was emotionless.

This is a thing Jacob has mastered, hiding his real feelings. And he was damn good at it. I felt nausea make its way up my body and decided to get up as well. Without realizing it, I held my breath while I could faintly feel Jacob's arm brush mine as he walked past.

  
Evie surprised me by asking if I really wouldn't eat, I told her no sorry. Then I turned around and put my plate away.

  
"Do you want to take a walk outside?"

She asked me while the three of us were in the kitchen, Father had already gone upstairs to change.

  
My finger nervously ticked the counter while I leaned back against it.

  
"Yes."

I answered numbly. Then I added: "That would be nice."

From experience I know that I'm much quieter and therefore seem less friendly when something is wrong. I did not want to take anything out on Evie. She was being the best sister ever, so I couldn't afford to upset her by accident.

  
"Great!"

She smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder.

  
"And you, Jacob?"

  
Her tone sounded compelling. I could basically see the stupid grin on his face before he turned around. He put one hand on the door frame, his body only half turned.

  
"Going for a walk? That _so_ sounds like something I would enjoy. God Evie, you know me so well. I can already smell the daisies!"

  
His voice was full of sarcasm and mockery. Then his face dropped to his actual annoyance and he paced away.  
Evie rolled her eyes and then turned to the dining room, checking if I was following.

* * *

 

The walk was... Dreading. I mean, I know Evie tried her best to cheer me up but I hate small talk and couldn't enjoy the view because the voices were screaming at me that it was my fault.

Mixed with that were images of Jacob. Of our fight, of him looking at me. Of him looking at me the way he did at the dining table. The knot in my stomach tightened.

Not only had I felt embarrassed, guilty, stupid, all that bad stuff that I just know he thinks of me now. But also had I been turned on. Again. For the three hundredth time this week. Even if it was so fucking faint, I still felt it.

  
It was just a lot better before, when I still dared to look Jacob in the eyes, when we were still best buds. I sighed deeply.

  
"Hey, why don't you tell me what's going on?"

Evie asked and stroked my arm.  
I shook my head faintly. I didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't understand anyway.  
But still she pushed.

  
"Jacob told me that you uhm... You two had a fight. What happened?"

  
We were walking more slowly now.

  
"It's my fault. He has every right to hate me. I just wish... Never mind."

  
My voice was quiet. Everything felt heavy. I could barely breathe as a tear made its way down my face. Reluctantly I swept it away with my sleeve. Evie stopped me from walking any further and pulled me in for a hug. I accepted eagerly.

  
"I'm sorry Evie." I stuttered through my heavy sobs now.

  
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I kept repeating.

  
"I've been so - so stupid and now... Now he hates me and I miss him and, and I don't know how to look at him anymore!"

I rambled on while crying into Evie's shoulder at the same time.

  
My sister sushed me and rubbed my back until I was calm again. Her scent was one of lavender and vanilla and it was nice. But it wasn't Jacobs' scent.

  
Normally I cry in my brother's arms. The two of us are, were, very close, despite the 3-year age difference. Don't ask me why I took more to Jacob than Evie. They're twins, yet it always felt like I could undertsand Jacob more than Evie could, and he has said so himself.

  
And now I've ruined everything with my stupid... Being myself.  
Evie pushed me in front of her and stroked my hair.

  
"Hey, hey. Jacob could never hate you. Never."

  
Apparently I was still saying "Now he hates me. He hates me. Hehatesme." out loud without realizing it. Calming myself down and listening to Evie's words, I was surprised.

  
"Really?"

I asked after several minutes of hugging and convincing myself that she wasn't lying to me.

  
Evie laughed.

"Of course not! You're his Lisa. He loves you. Trust me, you're his favorite sister."

  
I found that hard to believe, since for the last five days, every time we were in the same room the air felt so heavy and I could hardly breathe. He hasn't said two words to me since our fight.

One, to be exact. It was on the third day, when I came home from school. We were alone in the house. His steps were quiet and I hadn't heard him come into the kitchen.

When I turned around Jacob was standing in front of me, probably waiting for me to be done with the sink. I was startled and we stared at each other for a few seconds. Then I realized what I was doing and I quickly directed my gaze to the ground.

  
"Hey..."

His soft voice rang in my ears while I looked up, surprised that he talked to me. I returned the greeting quietly, I'm sure he had to strain his ears to hear it. He even gave me a slight smile. But all I could do was be scared shitless. He hates me now. No need to stay in this room and waste more of his time.

And so I left, gaze on the floor, heart beating so fast I was worried Jacob would hear it. The last thing I heard before having a panic attack and running up the stairs was Jacob sighing deeply.

  
He must've seen me dry my tears when I came out of the bathroom in school that day and took pity on me.

"You need to talk to him about this."

Evie's stern voice brought me back to reality. I started to shake my head violently.

  
"I can't."

  
"Yes you can. Lisa, if you don't talk to him I will. I know what a prick Jacob can be, but I've never seen him this... Broken? I don't know what's he's thinking or feeling, he won't tell me spontaneously. So. You go. One of you is going to have to start and Jacob's too stubborn."

  
She had a point. Jacob is very proud and stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something, he won't. I might've copied him sometimes, giving Jacob a good laugh in the background while Father was scolding me for having an attitude. Difference between me and Jacob is, he can talk his way out of anything.

  
"Trust me, I want to. I just... Every time we're in the same room I get nervous. And if he... Evie, I can't."

I said while giving her an apologetic face.  
Evie didn't take no for an answer, starting her lecture again.

  
"It's hard to look at him. I can't breathe if he looks at me. I'm serious."

I stuttered out.  
It was hard for me to say it out loud. If I would've known Jacob was listening and inspecting me at that moment, I would've fainted. But that was something I only learned later on, luckily for me.

  
Evie tried to understand. She opened her mouth to ask, but I was ahead of her.

  
"It's hard to breathe."

I repeated again.

  
"Every time I see him... It's like there's a big rock on my chest and I can't take it off, no matter what I try. And the worst part is. I know I'm the one who put it there."

  
Tears started pricking my eyes again.

  
"It's all my fault, Evie. And now I can't even make it right because of a stupid imaginary rock."

  
I looked at the sky and huffed at my own words. With my sleeve I smeared out more tears over my cheeks.

  
"It's not imaginary, it's real. It's called anxiety."

Evie said and looked very worried. Something in her eyes assured me she got it now.

  
"Listen. I know how scary my - our brother can be. But he doesn't want to hurt you. He's a softy."

  
Evie grinned almost the same way Jacob would. I loved her. In fact, I loved them both.  
We laughed a little and the mood became less emotional at once. The wind on my face helped to clear my head a little. I made up my mind.

  
"Allright. But if he really hates me, I'm going to move out. I'll go find Deadpool in Canada or flee to Mexico or something."

  
Evie's laugh boomed through the air. It was the only thing hearable. That and my own heartbeat. The thought of going up to Jacob's door alone made me anxious. I felt my heart in my throat for a moment, before admitting to Evie: "I'm fucking scared."

  
"That bad, huh?"

She threw an arm around me and urged me to start walking back to the manor.

  
"Yeah."

I thought over my meals the last week. My stomach was killing me, it felt like a thousand small but fiercely sharp knives were stabbing their way out. It was a wonder I hadn't thrown up yet.


	2. Chapter 2

_Fuck_ , my legs felt heavy as I walked up the wide stairs. Evie had already trippled up and opened the door to her room.

My mind grew wild with loud violent thoughts as I stood still in front of Jacob's door. I raised my hand to knock, but didn't. Maybe I should check if he was in there first? Mine and Jacob's room were connected by a shared bathroom. 

I took a deep breath and walked in my room. Then I threw myself face down on the bed and groaned loudly. I fucking hated this! I should've just said my goodbyes to Evie and leave, to return in 30 years, right about when I was ready to face Jacob again.

"Fuck." I muttered to myself. Maybe this would be easier when it wasn't face to face? 

I propped my head up and took out my phone from my pocket. One missed call from James, my best friend. Mindlessly I swiped the notification away and opened Messanger.

Painful stabs reached my stomach as I re-read our last conversation. 

 

"Lis, come over for a sec. Need you for sm" 

"why" 

"youll see ;)" 

"dont trustvyou..." 

"oh yee of little faith! Now come over and beat my ass in MK" 

 

I remember how I sprung up from my bed and excitedly entered Jacob's room through the bathroom. He already had his shit-eating grin on, tapping the floor between his legs invitedly. I grabbed the controller from his hand and plopped down underneath him. He was sitting on the bed, for the record. Three hours later I was still sitting on the floor cross-legged, leaning against Jacob's right leg, even embracing it with my arm. We were talking about everything and anything. Those were the moments I enjoyed the most, especially Jacob petting my head, making me feel safe. And when I looked up to face my brother, he would look down with soft and endearing eyes, challenging me to be better than I was. 

 

Jacob had been online 12 minutes ago. 

That text broke my heart. Because of the memory I felt empty and sad. I wanted my fucking brother back, my best friend. These last few days hurt more than I thought possible. The fact that we were in the same room, yet we couldn't speak to each other. 

I sighed and let the desire to make things go back to normal take over. Wearily I got up and walked to the bathroom. No light was on, so I opened the door. Another white door was staring back at me. 

I should just knock on it. Just a regular, easy knock. It couldn't be that hard, right? 

Yes, it could. In fact, it was the hardest thing I would've done all week, if it weren't for Father calling us to the hallway. 

Three heads looked out of bedroom doors and Father explained he needed to be away for the night. Evie had wished him good luck, shot me a knowing look and quickly closed her door again. 

And that was it. Jacob and I were left alone in the hallway. 

Jacob glanced to his right, where I was standing. He opened his door a little more, as if to invite me in. I saw him sigh before he looked straight at me. Not judgingly, just cold. 

My whole body stopped working, or so it felt. It took me all my courage to not look away or run into my room. 

Hesitantly I opened my mouth to say something, but Jacob was first. 

He shook his head and looked down, muttering "Un-fucking-believable."

I think he lost his patience because he went back inside, leaving me to stand alone in the doorway. 

I felt ashamed. He was right, maybe I didn't even have the right to look at him or be in his presence.

A sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes briefly. Fuck it, I was not going to lose my brother to those stupid voices in my head. 

With small steps I walked up to his door. Swallowing and noticing how tight my throat was. I rubbed my stomach too unconsciously, it hurt like Hell. Like there were somehow more small knives. 

I lifted up my hand, ready to knock. Images of Jacob kissing the top of my head flashed in my head, of me and him gaming, of him... 

My hand stopped. I was so nervous I could hardly breathe now. Still, I tried to push through. 

_Okay Lis, do it. Easy. Jacob's gonna open the door. Maybe slam it in your face, just try again._

I took a deep breath and started to raise my hand again when - 

"For _fuck's_ sake, James!" I whispered when I pushed the end call button on my phone. I put it on silent and noticed I was fumbling my thumb again. _Damn, I need to calm down._

I raised my arm _again_ and pinched my eyes close and turned my head sideways while I knocked really fast on the door. 

Fucking finally! 

Nervously I gazed to the right into the hallway. Then I inspected the ceiling, trying to control my breathing. Then my eyes came back to the Mahony door and I was clamping my fist tightly to keep myself from panicking.

Still no answer. 

 _Shit. I blew it_. 

Painfully my breath choked in my throat when I heard a familiar chuckle right next to my ear. 

"You're supposed to turn the knob..." Jacob said soflty, while his body was dangerously close to mine as he did so. His attempt at comedy just gave me an adrenaline rush. To hear his voice so close, after being freaked out by just looking at him for five days straight, it was... Something else. It made me hate myself even more. Made me want to pack my stuff and run away. 

He was still standing right behind me, gesturing that I should enter with his hand. 

I stepped in the room and directly went to the left, standing close to the wall. Jacob's posture was still the same, his scent still faintly present in every room he was. Or was that just me noticing it? 

He walked over to his bed after closing the door, then turned around to face me. Without saying anything he repeated his path. It was Jacob's way of calming himself down, normally only done when he was alone. When he was finished, he started rumbling through one of his drawers, pulling out a small plastic bag. 

With a serious face he handed it to me. I took it hesitantly, then he explained: "For if you get a panic attack." 

At first I thought it was some kind of joke, but he seemed to be bloody serious. Jacob took a few steps away and crossed his arms. Now he was waiting. 

 

The only sound in the room was the ruffling of the plastic bag. We had been staring at each other for about 30 seconds, which was a damned long time if you were as nervous as I was. 

Jacob finally broke away, sighing deeply again. 

"Start. Talking." he bit out the words. 

The fist noises out of my mouth were weird and choked and pure nervousness. Then I composed myself to at least speak normally. 

"Jacob..." I sighed. How am I to explain that I attacked him like that out of love? 

I nervously put my hands together. 

"I'm.... I'm sorry. I really am. This is all my fault and I shouldn't have said those things."

Irritatingly I threw the bag on the floor. 

Jacob huffed, his arms still crossed, looking to the side for a second. Then his piercing eyes focussed on me again. _Oh God!_

"And?" My brother inquired. 

"And.... I'm really sorry. Sorrysorryso-" 

Jacob smirked and stepped forwards, grabbing me for a hug. 

"Now, was that so hard?" His smooth voice rang straight in my ear, I felt his breath against it. 

His hug was comforting and warm. I felt so relieved! Finally I got the thing I've been afraid to ask for.

Without realizing I let out a deep breath, and Jacob rubbed my back and neck. 

"You okay?" he asked me. 

"Uhm. Kinda. I'm still scared you hate me." Immediately Jacob let go to look at my face. 

"Why are you so afraid? You've been avoiding me all week."

"No shit Sherlock! You would be afraid of you, too. I don't know," I shrugged, still avoiding his eyes a little. "You looked so intimitating and cold. Like you were annoyed just looking at me."

"Yes, I was fucking annoyed. Annoyed that you avoided me! You - you didn't even say hi or hug me or..." 

Now it was Jacob's time to shrug. My eyes wandered to the left again, avoiding his face in general. 

"And _this_." Jacob hissed, taking my chin in his thumb and index finger. He forced me to look at him and I could feel my breathing speeding up. 

"I was annoyed I couldn't see your eyes anymore. Or better, that they weren't on me as usual." He smirked slyly.

To my irritation, a blush creeped up my cheeks and nose.

"I'm not always looking at you!" I bit back playfully. He chuckled. 

"Yes you're right. They're only on me if I'm in the room." 

I protested and he pulled my head to his lips, giving it small kisses. 

"Is that why you were always staring at me?" I asked shyly. I didn't want to upset him by asking, but my curiosity got the better of me. 

"One of the reasons, yes." Jacob said soflty, inspecting my hair as he stroked it. Then he pushed me a little farther, still holding both my shoulders as he gazed intentionally into my eyes. 

"Lis, I need you to know something, okay? Listen carefully." 

I nodded, interested in how mysterious Jacob was being. 

"I. Could never. Hate you. Do you understand?" 

Brightly I smiled and nodded confidently. I know he could never hate me, not with the loss of crucial information. And I intended to keep it that way.

 


End file.
